By Arnold Stevens—
Dr. Logan Levkoff, PHD in sexology and expert on Sex & Relationships came out on November 15 to hold a sex forum for the New Jersey City University students.
Dr. Levkoff has been in the field for over 20 years and started when she was 15 as a peer HIV and aids educator.
When asked about what drove her to come out and speak to college students about sex she commented, “Sex is a part of who we are and young people deserve an intelligent and honest way to receive information as well as talk about sex.”
Dr. Levkoff gave a compelling speech on issues regarding sex, sexuality, sexual health, identity and sexual double standards for males and females.
There are many things people experience throughout the journey of life; of them all sex is the one aspect of life that will never cease to exist. From the beginning of time to the present, the human race has always been sexual beings. It is a part of our humanity that can’t be turned off or ignored and simply must be embraced.
Top 10 tips for a healthier sex life and personal relationship
1. Alcohol + Sex = NO, you should not drink or do drugs and have sex because legally a person under the influence cannot give consent to sex.
2. Lube is the most underrated health product and should be used when engaging in sex.
3. Masturbation is natural and a great way to help understand the body and what you like, so in turn your partner can tend to your desires.
4. CONSENT IS MANDATORY. Never assume, always get a yes or no. It just helps both sides to know where they stand and if anyone feels uncomfortable.
5. Porn is not Sex Ed. Porn is more for entertainment than anything; it gives an unrealistic view of sex.
6. Sex with someone of the same gender is completely normal, your behavior does not define you, and only you can define yourself.
7. Good Health in turn leads to a better sex life.
8. You are and forever will be a sexual being.
9. Stop using harsh words such as slut, whore, etc. It’s demeaning to women who are acting no differently than men when it comes to sex.
10. Speak Up, always talk things out. The key to a better sex life and overall better relationship is communication.
Dr. Levkoff helped to distinguish that, as humans with sexual drives, it is necessary to understand that sex is a healthy part of life. Depriving the body of a natural function ultimately leaves the body in a state of distraught. If you engage in sexual activity ask your partner questions. Don’t be shy either, because it’s your body. [Don’t put your] health in harm’s way, [find out] if your partner has any sexually transmitted diseases or infections.
As individuals we are attracted to others for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to find just the right words as to [explain] why someone is attractive. Identifying what and who is attractive to you, helps form the basis of your own sexuality. It aids in helping a person understand themselves.
Sex is one of those encounters that happen to everyone at some point in their lives. Most people assume sex only means penetration of a woman’s vagina and this if false. Sex comes in three forms: Oral, Anal or Vaginal.
During Dr.Levkoff’s speech she turned towards the audience and asked, “What is the purpose of sex?”
After a few brief moments someone in the audience yelled out, “To make babies”. She immediately answered “NO”!
She explained that the challenge society faces is their narrow minded upbringing on the issue of sex.
“Sex should be more than anything used for pleasure, to satisfy oneself and their significant other.” – Levkoff.
Dr. Levkoff goes on to explain that there are plenty of inequalities in sex, but the beauty of it is there is no right or wrong interpretation of sex. If a woman wants to be intimate with another woman, or a man with a man, who is to tell them this is wrong? NO ONE! Even though a woman can perform this act with another woman she can’t be labeled as a lesbian by anyone but herself because only she understands what her sexual identity is.
Men and women have a traditional view of sex. While men are often told everything they need to know about their bodies and the use of their sexual organs, women get a cheap overview and are left in the dark about the way their sexual organs operate.
Dr. Levkoff mentions that when women are growing up and given sex talks in school or at home it only mentions that the vagina is used for reproduction. At times it fails to help women understand the different parts of their sexual organs and how they can also receive a pleasure experience beyond the idea of only making babies.
One point that she made sure to stress during the forum was that there is a huge sexual double standard for men and women. When women are growing up they hear the old saying “Don’t worry about boys, all they want is sex”, but this leaves women feeling as though sex is a wrong thing to do. Men however are told to go out and enjoy themselves but just use protection. This in turn creates a bridge in trust because both sides (men and women) desire sex. Neither side should feel as though it is wrong or inappropriate to participate in sexual activities because, above all else, it’s a natural thing to do.