I knew it was over when…

By Chinedum Joan Charity Emelumba —

Have you ever found yourself in that uncomfortable moment of a relationship when you realize that it is destined to end? Perhaps, you were the one who did or said something so unbearable that your significant other decided to call it quits. Whatever the case, we can all attest to the fact that everything can change in literally a matter of seconds or over an extended period of time. It’s never easy to deal with a break up, which is why some people feel comfortable writing about their relationship experiences

Chicago based writer, Robert K. Elder had this idea when he created a website, known as www.itwasoverwhen.com, which is an open site where readers have the freedom to post their personal experiences about a relationship gone wrong. The site is flooded with sour, yet sometimes side splittingly hysterical tales of moments when people realized that their relationships were a clear dead end.

When asked if she ever experienced such an epiphanic moment in a relationship, Elizabeth DeLa Sota, 23, Elementary Education and English major from West New York, NJ stated that she did in fact come to terms with the reality of her friendship when “[she] noticed a lack of communication.” The friendship lasted for “six years, from middle school to the beginning of freshmen year of college,” Sota added.

A lack of communication can be deleterious to any relationship; however a lack of loyalty could be even worse. “I knew it [her relationship] was doomed when seven years went by and I still couldn’t trust him to be there for me when things that were important to me were jokes to him,” said a Biology student.

Sometimes it’s our own irrational beliefs that drive the knife through our relationships. This was the case with Mohammed Conteh, 22, Business Management major of Jersey City, New Jersey. “I realized that my relationship was doomed based off of some weird superstitious belief that my ex-girlfriend had about a broken bracelet.” He recollects the very moment when his girlfriend’s superstitions began to toy with his emotions. “I gave her the bracelet the first time we met…..but the day it cut [the bracelet]; my ex said that she feels maybe there’s something about to happen. Months later, we broke up.”

Blogs, various websites and other social media outlets have made it possible for people to publically vent about their experiences and opinions on different aspects of their lives. However, not everyone feels comfortable or compelled to share their experiences with the public, especially when it deals with personal topics like romance. When asked if she would ever broadcast a bad relationship/friendship on a site like www.itwasoverwhen.com, Sota responded, “Probably not…it’s more likely for me to read about bad relationships than post about any.”

The biology student expressed a somewhat similar response when questioned about their likelihood of posting tales on the site. “It seems like an inspiring site,” they said. “However, I wouldn’t post on it simply because I was in a long relationship and it didn’t end over a silly thing.” They were one of the rare ones who experienced love at a very young age. They noted this fact as another reason why she wouldn’t post her sob romance tales on the site. “At a young age, I took love very serious and I wouldn’t want to cheapen what we had because it was special and still is in a way,” they added.

Conteh expressed “I’m more of a conservative person, and I don’t think I’d broadcast anything really personal to me like that.”

Reading about bad romance tales on sites like www.itwasoverwhen.com could be really entertaining. Relationships, just like other areas of life, take time and dedication in order for it to be successful. However, if you feel comfortable and bold about your personal life, then by all means share it.