Dan Howell and Phil Lester — mega stars of the early 2010s cohort of British Youtubers that blazed the trail for what we now know as the creator economy — are in love.
All the weird, lesbian furries from your middle school just had Christmas come early on Monday, October 13. Dan and Phil delivered almost 16 years of information in just 46 minutes and 37 seconds. Their reveal comes with them sitting on a bed with their iconic bedsheets (the phedsheets if you will) stitched together.
Dan and Phil. Dan and Phil: best friends. Dan and Phil: roommates. Dan and Phil: the brand. Dan and Phil, partners in everything. Inevitably.
The duo, otherwise known as “Phan,” has been at the center of one of the internet’s most fervent romantic conspiracies–invasion of privacy– for more than a decade.
The video, which has racked up 2.5 million views in less than 48 hours, not only confirms Dan and Phil’s relationship but also directly addresses the parasocial fandom culture that almost pushed Dan and Phil to their breaking point back in the day.
Dan and Phil were held captive in this unimaginable purgatory, pushed and violated, but they survived. And they escaped. The “closet” they’d been hiding in wasn’t protecting them anymore, it was suffocating them.
And now they can finally allow themselves to forgive the unforgivable, forgive the fans, and make peace with the parasociality. It was an impossible position they were in, and when addressing it ,they still spoke with grace and love towards their fans, the people who violated and stalked them.
“A lot of the ‘bad guys’ weren’t bad people,” says Dan. “They were just young people that had absolutely no idea what the effects of their actions were.”
“This is not a video for you to be like, ‘I need to beat myself up about this. I feel so bad. I need to stop watching.’ It’s not about that,” adds Phil.
Dan and Phil, the duo, truly understand and love their fans (their phans, if you will… the phandom.) They just want the same respect they put out.
They are resetting the boundaries.
And on a lighter note – they’re dating!!! They feel comfortable with their fans to share it! They feel comfortable with themselves! They’re finally, officially, out of the closet!
Dan mentioned that he had a conversation with his therapist where they’d pointed out a pattern that had emerged. “I spent so long not being authentic and being trapped in a situation that I am comfortable being miserable in an environment where I don’t do the thing that would suddenly make me feel better…” he said. “I am in a cycle of never-ending closets.”
This video is so important, not only for Dan and Phil and their fans, but also for people on the outside to look at their own relationship with their favorite content creator.
Dan: “Without getting too long or dark or deep, I had an extremely homophobic childhood… So in my mid-twenties, I felt we had to hide the relationship because I was still hiding who I was to my friends, family, and myself.”
Phil: “I knew this was all very sensitive, uncomfortable, and scary for you. So I kind of just wanted to give you time to figure out what you wanted to do.”
Dan: “Thank you for being patient for so many years.”
Phil: “That’s okay.”
Dan: “Because that affected you.”
Phil: “Yeah. I felt like I’d gone back in a mini closet in a way, which was weird.”
Dan: “And this is why all of the digging from people online hit a nerve because Phil was my safe space. You know, you were my first boyfriend… And not just like, oh, some guy — that’s a good thing to tick off. But you… you were nice.”
Phil also mentioned that he had grown fearful of interviews, in case the interviewer might ask something outlandish and personal, which most of the time they did. He stated how whenever anyone would hint about relationships or girlfriends, he’d shut down because he is really bad at lying. It must’ve been exhausting. And to think about all the missed press opportunities because they were too worried.
I’m excited for the future. The fans are excited. Dan and Phil have gained traction again, naturally, and people are TUNED IN!
As of today, when this is being posted, the Dan and Phil podcast HardLaunch is HERE! Find it on Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube.
