By Ally—
Meeting someone new is always exciting especially if you’re into them. You talk on the phone, text each other through the day, go on dates, and have the best conversations. Then you reach that point where the conversations take a turn to the wild side. Flirting comes into play eventually this leads to sex. Now, the question people often wonder is how long should you wait to have sex in a new relationship?
According to society, marrying a woman who is a virgin is ideal; once married, sexy time can finally be embarked upon. What is the real reason behind waiting till you’re married? Is it because you want to stay pure in the eyes of [insert your belief here] or because you don’t want to be seen as damaged goods? Be careful here. This situation can be seen as a double edged sword. “Couples who put off having sex for too long could be in for a huge disappointment,” says Vanessa Burton of Askmen.com, a men’s website. You may find you are not compatible with each other in sex. Sure, you may have great, deep conversations, but you can marry someone to only find that sex is just awkward.
Most people (ladies, I’m talking to you) can feel a little uncomfortable taking it all off. If you have little insecurities you may want to take it slow until you are fully comfortable with the person to bare it all. “Perhaps that’s why some people use their comfort level with being naked as a way gauge if they’re ready to go all the way,” says Sari Locker of Match.com, a dating website. If you aren’t comfortable with the person to drop trousers maybe it’s too soon to have sex.
If you have waited a couple of months before having sex this can be seen as a best case scenario. “This is probably the greatest amount of time to wait because you get to know each other enough to realize whether or not there’s long term compatibility,” says Burton. However, be advised, some men and even some women may take this as a brush off. In other words, you may become friendzoned. Make sure that window of communication is always open so neither of you miss the signals. If you find yourself friendzoned , prepare to build your nest because you are not leaving that place any time soon. Speaking from experience, if you’re into the person, let them know!
After a few dates (about three or so) if you end up sleeping together it may be obvious it’s about lust. Key word: it “may.” It all depends on how you have been spending your time together. Askmen.com explains if all you have done are movies and loud dance clubs then you haven’t had enough time to get to know each other but if you two have been holding an innumerable amount of conversation, there may be hope.
To be honest, there really isn’t a time period where you should have sex with someone new. Just be mature and smart about it. If you are looking for a long term relationship (if you’re reading this then you probably are) then take your time and be certain on your emotions. Put your hormones on hold, get to know the person on a personal level. Every situation is different, when you’re ready, you’ll know. Worse comes to worse, if you’re looking for a quick fix then get in, get off, get out, but use a condom or just beat it.
