By Vanity Delbridge—
What is one to do when he/she is in a place where they ‘think’ they want what their heart may not be able to handle?
You want the loving, but not the responsibilities that come along. Well, this is just the article for you!
Consensual, “no-strings” attached SEX. FRIENDS with BENEFITS.
Yes, someone to fill those nights of lonely void or, to just get you off. But just how long should this casual relationship last?
For women, it may be a little trickier. After all, we are the Nurturers.
As for the campus community’s take on a “Fwb’s” relationship, “Don’t like it because guy’s get what they want,” said 19 yr. old English Education major Elena Zoman, from North Bergen. “Girls’ get emotionally attached,” she added.
Cenque Brinson, 23, Education major of Bayonne seemed to differ. “I think it’s easier because it doesn’t lead to feelings.” “IT’S JUST SEX.”
Well of course the guy would feel that way. Dudes are seemingly born knowing how to detach emotion from physical activity. For many, it is Literally their default setting.
“Doesn’t work,“ National Security major Tara Szper of Kearny, 19.
As to recommending it, it was pretty unanimous.
“I personally would never recommend this type of relationship,” said Psychology major Ashley Goodman. “If a friend tells me they are in one, my advice is always to be cautious,” she adds.
Art major Hector Lebrun, “Yeah I would recommend it but I would warn the person to choose wisely, you know.”
Choose wisely? Guess that makes it all the more easier.
Brinson, “She had a boyfriend but didn’t enjoy the sex.” Three years in, the two still engage. Is that a good example of a success story?
Hector Lebrun’s may be, “Well my best friend is going out with his fwb buddy and they’re still together. It’s been 5 years.”
As for them being in such a situation, “In the past, I have been in relationships similar to this one,” Goodman. “I cannot speak for everyone, but they never ended well.”
Lebrun had a bit of a different perspective: “Yep I’ve been there only like twice because I’ve never found the right person to be fwb’s.” He adds, “And from that possibly start an awesome relationship.”
You’re probably wondering what one is to do. With all the reads and advice columnists, you may not know whether to come or go. So, can two people truly just be Friend’s with benefits?
“You can but you have to be mentally prepared,” says 22 year old Ashley M.
Lebrun added, “Nope, I think in the end, either they fall in love or just split because someone eventually catches feelings.”
“So yeah it’s a 50/50 game.”
There you have it Ladies and Gents. Proceed with Caution, be Wary of your heart, and NEVER get too comfortable.
Steve • Jan 31, 2013 at 8:04 pm
Hey Blue. I’m talking about the field, not the University, as I assume Vanity has some interest in writing. If she’s just doing this for fun, it’s another thing. Thats where you would hope The Gothic Times has an editor, but thats another story.
With that said, I don’t think there is a shortage in the University either, there is just no interest. If there was truly a need, replacements can easily be found. But The Gothic Times clearly is not interested in a reputation, so if there is a shortage, it’s just because students don’t want to associate themselves with the paper.
Now if you suggest this piece is coherent, is comprised of research, and investigative skills, I respectfully disagree. I also don’t think anyone writes for The Gothic Times on a daily basis. With that said, I think 75% of the student body could write a better piece during a 10 minute class break. What takes genuine effort is asking strangers on campus about random topics. Thats a given. I think as much effort should be put into writing as getting the background details.
Blue • Jan 13, 2013 at 5:29 pm
lol “there is no shortage of people to do this type of stuff”, i’m curious to know why you think that. Many people have a hard time piecing together a coherent term paper, and very few have the work ethic, research, and investigative skills to write for any publication on a daily basis. Not to mention the nerve need to deal with the stress and criticism.
Steve • Jan 10, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Vanity,
You need to learn to accept criticism and correct yourself when errors are made. If you feel you’ve made no errors, then simply thank the person. You calling Ivanka an “expert” and suggesting she join the paper is immature and unprofessional.
Just because you need to improve your skills doesn’t mean others have to get in your field. Believe me, there is no shortage of people to do this type of stuff.
Vanity • Jan 3, 2013 at 3:03 pm
The nature of this article wasn’t intended to be debatable, if that were the case I wouldn’t have gotten some of the campus community’s take. In other words, my purpose for writing this wasn’t solely based off what I thought or felt, but rather the student body. Again, as Johnson said, it’s merely a casual sex top aimed at college students. Moreover, to each its own but when you mention ‘grammar’ Ivanka, what exactly is your aim? If you feel as though you are quite the expert, why not join the Gothic Times yourself and showcase those “skills.”
Steve • Dec 25, 2012 at 8:48 pm
Johnson, my point about that was the attempt to make a conclusion is unrealistic for a topic like this. You can discuss it all you want but Vanity poses the article to someone who is considering a FWB relationship. The answer, coming from a college campus, is going to be more one-sided than from a general population.
The topic is serious and yet nothing serious is presented in the article. That was my point.
Don’t worry about my and what I’m doing and when. You don’t know who I am, who I live with, and what I do.
Johnson • Dec 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Steve wtf is wrong with discussing casual sex on a college campus? Don’t assume that everyone who is doing the hanky-panky knows what they are getting into. I personally advise all to be extremely cautious before dropping those trousers and jumping in the sack. Take a play out of Steve’s safe sex playbook: up at 1 a.m., alone, and correcting grammar on a collegiate newspaper. Stevo, I salute you.
Steve • Dec 6, 2012 at 1:01 am
Ivanka, I completely agree.
For one thing, this is pure nonsense topic. That’s just my opinion. But you’re asking people what they think about casual sex? On a university campus? And you hope to resolve that argument here?
But apart from the topic, this is worse than reading text messages. No offense Vanity, but don’t we have an editor? I understand that this is casual writing (hopefully wont get published), but these are basics.
What does “Friend’s” mean? – Your friend’s coat for examples. Friend’s with benefits makes no logical sense.
Not to mention some sentences make absolutely no sense.
Ivanka • Dec 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Vanity – your grammar sucks, i. e. not “you r gramma sux”