My Success is not Your Success

Grace Duarte

Sounds obvious, right? My definition of success is not the same as what others define as success. Yet we tend to compare ourselves to others so often that we forget what success looks like to us.

Take Facebook for example, the average timeline might sound something like this:


“Your friend got a full-ride scholarship”.

“Your friend got a cool internship”

“Your friend graduated from college”.

“Your friend got an awesome job”.

“Your friend has a puppy, a kitty, a llama and the zoo you ever wanted to have yourself”.

“Your friend went on a diet and is now fitter than you!”

“Your friend’s family is picture-perfect. Their bills are paid and also they’re getting that awesome car you always wanted”.

It’s easy to feel left behind when our friends are doing all the right things and unlocking all of those achievements; especially if you’ve been so busy studying for that midterm that it mentally hurts to think about getting out of bed. Don’t panic. Maybe your friend has a cool job because he is using skills you haven’t attained in a field you have no interest on -like training to be an astronaut, while you are interested in being the next DaVinci-.

Count your blessings too, because the small achievements are as important as the big ones: what other things are you succeeding on while you get where you want to be? Maybe you just totally won the online tournament of Cards Against Humanity, or won second place for Best Dorm-Room Garden. Savor that. It’s something you’ve put your time and effort towards and it has paid off!

In the end it’s not about what others succeed on that matters. It’s about what you want to succeed on -and what you keep doing to get it – that matters. Want to graduate? Keep working towards it! Want to get a cool job? Keep on applying and don’t underestimate the power of networking. Most importantly: love whatever it is you are doing. Whatever your career or your interests, love the hell out of it and try to find that sweet spot where you start to have fun doing it, because there’s only so much motivation you can get from the desire to succeed alone.

Achievement unlocked