In today’s society, so many people allow others to determine who and what they are.  People are no longer being judged based on their intelligence or what they have to offer, such as talents or special skills.  In 2016, one’s physical beauty proves to be more important than who he or she is on the inside.

Social media has become an essential means of communication, networking and entertainment.  Living in the era in which social media is such a popular tool, more people are afraid to be themselves.  Everyone wants to act, look and be like every celebrity they see on the social media sites, such as Instagram and Facebook.  They aspire to look like the glamorous actors, actresses and music artists that they see on the red carpet before the airing of an award show.

“I feel like boys don’t want normal looking girls.  To them, that type is boring.  They want girls who wear makeup, dress nice and have long hair. You know, keep themselves together.  They put pressure on us to look pretty all the time.  If not, they won’t notice us.  I try to copy Rihanna’s edgy style.  Oh, and I love Kylie Jenner” says Jessica McCord, 16, of Lincoln High School in Jersey City, NJ.

Social media provides women and young girls with a false perception of beauty.  The saddest part is that women and young girls continue to measure themselves based on the standards of others.  Due to celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Amber Rose and Nicki Minaj, women have become obsessed with big butts.  It seems like every woman thinks that having a big butt makes her attractive or more attractive to men.

“Honestly, all my life I have never really felt pretty.  I was always skinny.  I had a B-cup, but I did not have a booty.  So as I grew into an adult, I gained a little more weight, but I still wasn’t happy with my butt. I recently went to get a procedure called a Brazilian butt lift and now I feel that my body is more voluptuous and proportionate.  I feel more attractive,” says Kelly Hudson, 35, mother of two.

Hudson explains how growing up she never really had anyone in her life to remind her of how beautiful she was.  This lack of self-confidence made her insecure in other areas of her life.

“Not being as pretty as the other girls in my high school, sometimes I did not want to go to school.  I would skip classes,” says Hudson.

Perhaps if Hudson had a mentor in her life around that time, who could have provided emotional support, she would have known that true beauty comes from within.  Hudson would have learned that being intelligent made her beautiful in itself.

As a mother of two, a 2 year old named Nasir and an 8 year old named Dominique, Hudson has made it a top priority for her to stress the importance of self-love.  She wants her children to always feel confident and to never allow the opinions or judgments of others to determine how they view themselves.

“I tell my daughter all the time that she is beautiful.  With all of the false perceptions of beauty that are being pushed through the media, I never want her to feel the need to grow up faster than what she needs to.  My son, I instill confidence within him by telling him how intelligent and handsome he is.  They are the loves of my life and I don’t ever want them to deal with the insecurities that I had growing up or even as an adult,” says Hudson.