Pre-date rituals

By Francis A. Wilson and Armando Sultan— ‘Just a Tip’

The truth about what the sexes do before a date will shock you. Have you ever thought about what your date might be doing to prepare for a date? Or, have you ever wondered if your date ever thinks about what you might be doing to get ready? In this case, truth is stranger than fiction.

Guys

1 “S.S.B”– The “S.S.B” stands for Shower, Shave, and Beautify. Every guy will do this (or we hope) to prepare for this grand day. Hygiene, as most men and women will tell you, is important. Especially in a first date setting, impression is everything and can ultimately make or break you.

2 “Confirm, Confirm, Confirm” In order to establish that something is even HAPPENING, you must make sure. This ensures that reservations have not been tampered with, which makes you appear to be organized. As we have mentioned, impression is everything.

3 “Psych-Up” Often times, many a guy will find himself in the mirror, and feeling less than confident. What is a guy to do? YELL? BARK! And other aggressive gestures whose sole aims are to boost confidence. THAT’S WHAT! How else are we supposed to get psyched up before a date and boost confidence?

4 “Kit for Success” Prepare a field kit for emergency situations. Obviously having and maintaining a fresh breath is a must. So bring gum, breath mints, or other breath freshening tools. An obvious tool that often gets neglected on a date would be the toothbrush. The toothbrush is the tag team partner to the breath freshener. Another great tool to take full advantage of would be floss. Bring floss to get the hard to reach places between your teeth so that the date isn’t inadvertently subverted by that stubborn piece of beef glaring back at your partner every time you smile.

5 “Pump It Up” As a chief puts the last sprinkle on his beautifully well crafted cake so to must we work out before we leave the house. Science tells us that working out in general gives you a sense of confidence. As a result, some men do a few push-ups and sit-ups to feel this confidence and also tone their physique before the date.

Women

1 “Recon” First and foremost, the biggest thing for women before a first date is recon. This is an astounding find, but all too true. So gentlemen clean up your records, leave no stone unturned because they will find out everything and anything they possibly can about you before the date. They do their homework, and this can make or break the date even before it gets off the ground. Also, be cautious about who and what you have on your Facebook wall. Don’t give them more artillery that they can use against you.

2 “Beautification” This is; as you can imagine, everything under the sun that can and should be done before a date. This usually entails showering, manicures, pedicures, getting their hair done, and other typical beautification procedures. This is a crucial step simply because poor hygiene is a serious violation of the articles of proper dating.

3 “The Phantom Menace” Now for the shocker! Believe it or not the fake phone call is real! It actually exists. Doesn’t this sort of thing belong in some kind of romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston or Ryan Gosling? I mean, it just sounds made up, but it is true. So be mindful on a date, if she disappears to the bathroom for an extended period of time only to return to a phone call minutes later, you probably messed up the date. The phone a friend technique would make even the most battle hardened strategists like Sun Tzu blush in envy.

As if dating wasn’t hard and weird enough before. What a strange look into the lives of the single, lonely, and dating. The secrets and proverbial cards are all laid out on the table. How are your dates going to go now that you know the secrets behind the sexes?